Mens Health recently had an article on 10 standards to assess your fitness. This isn't good news. I think I might pass 1, two if I'm lucky. If I get the chance I'll try others the next time I'm in the gym and have access to a 470lb weight to test. The 10 standards are:
1. Bench Press 1.5 times your body weight.
Nope. How about .5 times? Though as I guess this is a 1 rep thing I could probably go much higher, maybe my bodyweight, not 1.5.
2. Run 1.5 miles in 10 minutes.
9 miles an hour for 10 minutes? Are you fecking kidding me?
3. Touch the rim.
What kind of perverted fuc...? Oh you mean grab the hoop in basketball from a jump. Are trampolines allowed?
4. Leg press 2.25 times your own weight.
This one I think I could do, but then my own weight is pretty high. I'll need to get to a gym to try this one out since I don't have a 470lb barbell lying about.
5. Swim 700 yards in 12 minutes.
I'm a terrible swimmer. Last time I had to swim 200m (for a diving test) it took about 55 minutes. So no, 700 yards in 12 minutes is out.
6. Do 40 pushups.
Maybe. It might kill me. I know I can do 20 and if this was all I was doing that day maybe this is possible.
7. Measure up.
Yep, mine's bigger than yours. Oh you mean waist size. Yes, mine's bigger than yours there too, so this is a fail.
8. Run 300 yards sub 1 minute.
About 10.3mph? For a minute? Even 10 seconds. Feck off.
9. Touch your toes.
Maybe. On a good day. Yes.
10. Toss a basketball 75 ft kneeling.
I have no idea. You Americans have weird tests. Probably not.
So all in all I am not fit. Why isn't there a pill to fix this? It would sell almost as well as a H1N1 vaccine.
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2 comments:
Hmm.
1 - Nope. Not even close.
2 - Yep.
3 - Uh. Doubt it.
4 - Don't know. Doubt it.
5 - Yep.
6 - Yep.
7 - Maybe. Going to need a tape.
8 - Yep.
9 - Yep.
10 - I seriously doubt it. Ever. I throw like a girl.
That's 50% - 60%. Nice.
arragh!
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